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Double Life
The version of you nobody knows. Secret identities, hidden talents, parallel lives.
"I want to know what my therapist says about me when I leave."
"I crave a kind of attention I have never told a single human being about."
"My grandmother stole jewellery from my mother for 30 years. We pretend we don't know."
"My family has never said 'I love you'. We say 'have you eaten'."
"I am scared of waking up and being the same person tomorrow."
"My father cried at my graduation. It was the first time I'd seen him cry. I cried because I didn't know him."
"I cry every night but laugh at every joke during the day. Nobody notices."
"Every Sunday at 7pm I cry. I've named it the Sunday Stomach."
"I write entire diary entries in my Notes app and delete them by morning."
"I quit on Monday. My manager scheduled a 1:1 about my 'engagement score'."
"I learned coding to escape this job. Now I do twice the work for the same salary."
"I want to be jealous of someone the way they were jealous of me once."
"Every night I rewrite my goodbye letter. Every morning I delete it. This has gone on for 11 months."
"I keep a playlist of songs I cannot listen to during the day."
"I want to ruin the person who ruined me. I make a list every birthday."
"I am the favourite child. The guilt is unbearable."
"I want my parents to be wrong about me. They aren't."
"I haven't spoken to my brother in 9 years. Nobody asks why anymore."
"I'm going to skip my own wedding. I haven't told my fiancé yet."
"I want to kiss the friend I'm not supposed to kiss. Tonight. Tomorrow. Always."
"I lie awake imagining conversations I'll never have with people who already left."
"My sister read my diary and used it against me at Thanksgiving 2019."
"I sent the Slack DM to the wrong channel and now 400 people know how I feel about Mark."
"I've been quiet-quitting for 8 months. I get the same review as the workaholics."
"I have not opened the company handbook in 4 years."
"I let my parents believe a complete fiction about my career."
"I screamed into my pillow for 9 minutes straight. The cat didn't even flinch."
"I dream of being chosen first. Just once."
"I memorized my neighbour's wifi password the night I first felt invisible."
"I send my dad money every month. He thinks it's from a 'family friend'."
"I want to slap my boss in front of the entire boardroom."
"My mother has told me I'm her biggest disappointment 7 times this year."
"I want a divorce I'll never ask for."
"I think about quitting my 6-figure job to become a baker every single morning."
"I am adopted and I have known since I was 7. My parents still think it's a secret."
"I want to be the villain for once. The good girl exhausted me."
"I've memorized the cracks in my ceiling because I've stared at them for 1,200 nights."
"I rehearse leaving my marriage in the shower every morning."
"I work from a cafe so I don't have to admit I left my job in May."
"I am a senior engineer who Googles 'how to centre a div' every Tuesday."
"My phone screen is the only light I've seen for 4 weeks straight."
"I prayed for the first time in 12 years tonight. I don't even believe in god."
"I never wanted children. I had two. I love them and I grieve myself."
"I sleep with the TV on because real silence sounds like my mother's last breath."
"I want to fail spectacularly so I have a real reason to start over."
"I cried in the bathroom 4 times this week. Smiled in every meeting."
"I want to be touched, not loved. I don't know how to say that out loud."
"Our 'unlimited PTO' is a beautifully worded lie."
"I've fantasized about confessing my feelings at his wedding for 3 years."
"I want to write a book that my mother would be ashamed to read."
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