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Dark Thoughts
The thoughts that visit at 3am. The ones you'd never dare say. Until now.
"I haven't spoken to my brother in 9 years. Nobody asks why anymore."
"I am a senior engineer who Googles 'how to centre a div' every Tuesday."
"I called my own number from my landline just to hear it ring in the empty house."
"I want to disappear and start a new life with a new name. I've already chosen the name."
"My father cried at my graduation. It was the first time I'd seen him cry. I cried because I didn't know him."
"I want to be touched, not loved. I don't know how to say that out loud."
"I make $180k and I'm broke from therapy and noise-cancelling headphones."
"I've fantasized about confessing my feelings at his wedding for 3 years."
"Every Sunday at 7pm I cry. I've named it the Sunday Stomach."
"I'm going to skip my own wedding. I haven't told my fiancé yet."
"I want to be the villain for once. The good girl exhausted me."
"My mother has told me I'm her biggest disappointment 7 times this year."
"I haven't seen my own laugh in a mirror in months."
"My family has never said 'I love you'. We say 'have you eaten'."
"I want to ruin the person who ruined me. I make a list every birthday."
"I crave a kind of attention I have never told a single human being about."
"My phone screen is the only light I've seen for 4 weeks straight."
"I muted the all-hands and watched anime instead."
"I'm in love with my best friend's partner. I've been for 4 years. I smile at their wedding photos."
"My grandmother stole jewellery from my mother for 30 years. We pretend we don't know."
"I send my dad money every month. He thinks it's from a 'family friend'."
"I open my ex's Instagram every single night. I tell myself it's the last time."
"I called in sick to attend my own birthday brunch. No one noticed."
"I have not opened the company handbook in 4 years."
"My team-bonding event was a 6-hour escape room. I escaped through the fire exit at lunch."
"I texted a wrong number for two weeks just to feel heard."
"I bought a candle because the flame is the closest thing to company."
"I read old WhatsApp chats with a person who blocked me 4 years ago."
"I work from a cafe so I don't have to admit I left my job in May."
"I want to write a book that my mother would be ashamed to read."
"I want to be loved by the person I cannot bear in real life."
"I dream of being chosen first. Just once."
"I want to kiss the friend I'm not supposed to kiss. Tonight. Tomorrow. Always."
"I write entire diary entries in my Notes app and delete them by morning."
"I learned coding to escape this job. Now I do twice the work for the same salary."
"Our 'unlimited PTO' is a beautifully worded lie."
"I keep a playlist of songs I cannot listen to during the day."
"I quit on Monday. My manager scheduled a 1:1 about my 'engagement score'."
"Sometimes I drive at 2am with no destination just to feel like I have somewhere to be."
"Our 'no-meeting Wednesday' has 7 meetings."
"I cry every night but laugh at every joke during the day. Nobody notices."
"My dad has another family in another city. I found out at 19. I never told my mum."
"I want to fail spectacularly so I have a real reason to start over."
"My sister read my diary and used it against me at Thanksgiving 2019."
"I am adopted and I have known since I was 7. My parents still think it's a secret."
"I once stayed up till 6am just to watch a stranger's TikTok cycle for the 30th time."
"I want to know what my therapist says about me when I leave."
"I cried in the bathroom 4 times this week. Smiled in every meeting."
"I haven't slept properly in 3 years. The silence at 3am feels louder than the day ever was."
"I never wanted children. I had two. I love them and I grieve myself."
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